But the fucking “You are useless and poor” issue come back and haunt me again…

Making me no mood to post about KL…

Human can die but cannot sick…

Human can be a sly but not stupid…

Human have to forever be under someone but not to complain…

Human can only be rich but not poor…

Life in Singapore is really very “straight to your face”

“Enlisting soon? oh sorry we might not want you as we not sure if you can commit to the job.”

“You are useless cause you do not know how to think for me or comfort me”

“you are poor… that malay guy got a car and he can fetch me and i have to take mrt with you”

“i.m poor… thats because you are poor…”

“you are in the fault… So you got no right to feel bad… you must continue acting like a clown and entertain me”

“you are nothing… no job useless not handsome poor poor poor poor poor poor poor”

“you did one mistake… so all the good thing you do? ALL CANCEL”

FUCK

How i wish i can leave all i have here then go to Malaysia and start a new life…

Life here is not simple for me… the elite problem the AT problem the govt problem school problem housing problem sister mother problem father pin too much hope problem girlfriend 24/7 PMS problem girlfriend think you are shit and poor look up see no sky problem expensive handphone bill and internet bill problem fucking ex car lesson fee problem…

It take alot to really give up everything here and have a new life… but who knows… i might really do it… since as time goes by… i getting more and more no feeling for this stupid place and people anymore…

LOL Mandy and Jay and Ashok must be thinking i emoing ba… Yes i am emoing now… bery bery not heypi~ anyone if can please ask me out and have a drink to let me let it all out ^^

going on 15 coming back on 18… weeeeeee…..

I swear i will retaliate….

i say it i mean it…

Be it man or woman…

today then come back… 3d2n camp…

fun  a not?

Got Cigarette, Liquor,Laughing Gas and lots of friend with you…

OF COURSE IT FUN =D

brought lots of extra cloth there cause i scare anything cork up shirt or pant dirty so bring extra safer…

go there then notice most never bring much stuff.. all ready to re wear… if i know i also cut down… so no need to carry big bag small bag when going back… cb…

reach there find our my group got 9 people including me…

only 2 guys and 7 girl…

and you know what… all 8 of them are those good boys and girl… like machiam little Angel…

ME! A FUCKING DEVIL HAVE TO MIX AROUND WITH ALL THIS GOOD LAW-ABIDING CITIZEN FOR MY 3 DAYS OF CAMP? OMFG!!!!

when the guys know i with such a “omfg” group all start to laugh at me T.T

even myself want to laugh at my own group people how to tahan playing as a group with them for 3 day sia… then lagi worst… i was appointed the leader of this stupid team =\

every group got a colour flag… i think the only consolation for me is that the colour of my group is green my fav colour =D

then we have to think of a group name… Guess what my group mate want to name my group?

Froggi

…………………..

Frog your mother la… T.T

lots of thing happen this 3 day i guess quite impossible to write it all down…

all i can say is that this freaking group lost 80% of the game we played for the 3 day…

luckily most of time i still will mix around with my own group of friend (in a sneaky way)

if not i tell you i sure go insane one…

night is what make this camp most fun =D

but too much to talk about liao =\

and lastly… got 6 group… my FROGGI actually get 3rd place

LOL

HOW?

i also don.t know…

maybe my 7 girls on the 2nd day go and 8-some with Mr chua that why i get 3rd LOL…

the camp is fun… just love to go this kind of thing like camp or oversea trip… will plan more of this kind of thing next time…

BANGKOK HAINAN GENTING HONK KONG here i come!!!!!!!!!

Sidetrack a bit… i got a shock when i get to know dewar friend say that i poor…

how they and dewar define poor?

No money to pay for the girl stuff and buy stuff and pamper them…

if this is a gauge to see if you are poor or not…

ok let me say this I AM FUCKING POOR…

i.m born in a normal family… father a shipyard worker and mother a housewife… father is a sole bread winner and my lameshit sister even thou earn a lot… tend to spend her money on clubbing and lots of stupid stuff…

so my family is “lower mortal” as describe by our PAP minister…

i got no job currently… my time plan nice nice one… 30% school 30%debra 30% sleep 10% friend

it not possible to find a job now to slot in to my busy world =\

all i can wait now is after i graduate… so at least i can take that 30% to work….

my only income now is my allowance… and my parent never give me little… she give me enough… enough for myself… which parent will so lame give you the allowance then top you about 100 more for “pamper gf fund”

so now i offically label “POOR” Damn i hate the feeling =(

i look like i.m only 12…

Jay ask me to post a emo post so here i am posting it…

no one love me…

i hate you all…

theres no meaning in life…

i hate life…

i hate you…

LOL

this year chinese new year i more open to talk with my aunt and uncle…

they actually never ask me about my school at all which shock me big time…

they finally start to ask about other thing…

like

eat already?

food nice?

got girlfriend?

want play card?

how you think of Obama becoming the America president?

the yck mp very poor thing hor kana burn by fire…

blah blah blah…

but still one things the same…

no ang bao =x

tml going to open house for ish and few isf schoolmate…

muahahahahaha my dog going to tear them apart…

feel like going 4 place…

KL

Bangkok

Hong kong

Hainan

Seem like the most chance to go one is KL and Bangkok… actually Hainan is easy to go and is as cheap as going to Bangkok… some more know the place quite well because go before… and the best thing is they all speak Chinese there so no need scare kana cheat of lost there…

i want to take train to KL… the recent KTM train my friend took to malaysia is like so nice la…

maybe people will think more comfort to take taxi or grassland bus… but for me this like of retro wannabe ah pek prefer to sit in those old school train and see the scenery…

the one my friend took is from Singapore to Danga mall… 3 SGD to go there and 3RM to come back… not that ex… and the whole journey take about 1hr plus with all the custom waiting…

for going to KL it will cost about 19SGD and if you want to have bed one it will cost about 30-40SGD

both got good and bad… not everyone need that bed as most likely they will not be sleeping the whole night anyway… (like me)

but got bed also good… can piak piak at the bed… no need worry people beside you heard you…

the sound of the train will cover your gf scream one… unless you so power until you can make her scream heaven scream hell…

it will take about 6-7 hour to reach KL and once reach KL we can have lots of choice where to go and first thing is confirm go get cheap cheap cigarette… woohoo…

Bangkok and Hainan… this 2 place is almost at the same price so i did struggle which to go… but the recent case about Bangkok make me bit more bias towards Hainan…

If really going Hainan i want to go back to that school which i help paint some of the class… those children there are so fun la… they all keep asking me to create new game for them and then i create a oldies game in Singapore for them

captain ball

they never play before and at first they play it… they like more crazy than any Singaporean playing this game… they really scream and shout and run for the ball like as if they never win they go back will get a stick poke right up their ass by their father…

damn cute la…

and some more their field is very very big… so its like 30 vs 30 and played the whole field… passing from one side to another can make you scold knnccb lots of time… but still they very enthu in the game…

because hainan is famous for their volleyball (world class)

those children are born with the blood and play any ball game well…

we tried to play volleyball with them

but of course… they beat us like killing a ant so easy…

7-12 year old children lei play million time better than us…

no choice we Singaporean suck in sport…

but miss lots of thing other than the school about Hainan

The food (fucking big portion and oily… wooo yummy)

the cigarette (come on… 40 cent SGD per pack… who will say no to smoking there?)

the people (no typical china tone and damn friendly and lovely)

the air (salty and fresh… can never feel that in Singapore)

the weather (Air con cold… just nice for every Singapore citizen)

damn i really must go plan to go there liao…

dewar faster go get your passport done…

and jay also… you ccb…

I guess most people all have this kind of feeling before

“becoming me is so tiring”

after so long finally i also start to have this kind of feeling…

becoming zhiwen is hard…

it hard to smile everyday in class whether happy or not happy just because don.t want to let people say “EEE zhiwen today step cool.. so fake la… hahahaha”

it so hard being called joker or clown and live life with it

it so hard to be mean in class sometime… =\

it so hard to keep quiet when there’s stupid thing bad thing all confirm plus chop say it me

it hard for me to say what i want in class sometime cause people just want to wait and see if i got any “pronoun” mistake and laugh at it… the sian thing is… people get everything i say… but you pick out what i say wrong and laugh… hmmmm…

so hard not to feel sian when all the positive comment people give to you is “funny”

funny is not positive for me…

because i am funny…

people start taking me like a fool…

a clown they get ready to laugh at every time it start talking

even this blog is not spared

i never get angry cause it all being pressed down by me myself

all the comment i get from people i always have million of way to counter it… but i can.t… because if i say back… then never ending… then have to go act stupid and just let you all laugh…

luckily this is the last place i can whine about this… if not who know i might store everything up for too long and then go berserk then rape everyone i see…

lastly i notice that word press got spelling check… so next time if anyone want to laugh at the spelling… laugh at word press… i click that stupid spelling check at least 10 time at this post…

or just laugh at my sentence structure until word press got a function call “sentence structure check” =D

Chinese new year is coming soon…

not very exciting about it actually…

but it a once in a year big event for all chinese so die die must be excite…

woo!

this year most likely will be the usual stuff…

go visit my father side first then mother… then when around 8pm they will ask want to watch movie then i will say not then head right home and sleep…

typical chinese new year for me…

last year was quite fun..

me and isf actually go to most of the chinese classmate house to earn money (ang bao) and steal all their ferraro roche (muahahaha)

it was fun somehow… like going to people house and see what kind of place they are living in… few that susprise me is mandy and veron…

mandy house is errrrr how should i say… cosy… her room… power to the core…

teebee plus computer plus air con…

it like so good lo no need to go out of the room and can have everything…

all she need inside is one more fridge than is almost perfect liao…

my room compare to her is way different…

my room is bigger… but is way more empty than her…

damn simple room… thats why i dun like people come cny then stay in my room…

they will bored to death…

unless they want to see my smelly sexy black full of mould pillow hee…

Veron house is holy… once you step in it very “clean”

not the typical clean but those kind of “holy clean”

it like when u go in u look left and right u can see God =\

somemore his parent look very nice and friendly…

perfect place for cellgroup… next time if i ever go back to church i will rent her house for CG session…

chinese new year is the last big occasion we having as a class… just hope people house will be open again for us to go in and chit chat,black jack,steal food (Giselle) and majong…

my house will be open (as long you all dun scare my fucking dog)

so everyone is welcome…

i promise i will serve you all well…

give you all eat good grade bak gua…

and for guys… UNLIMITED FLOW OF BEER…

girl want drink also can but dun “fall” at my room later debra jealous…

my bed below to her and only her… hee…

Actually no com use also good… can spend my time doing other better thing… like reading a book (to save my fucked up eng)… meeting up with friend and dewar more… and most impt finally not hide in my freaking room and never talk to my family…

last sat go see the ITE musical “Grease”… Isk is acting in it so we go down and support him… just nice our project is about this musical so it a “one stone kill 2 kuku jiao”

Isk act very good… full of confident and he just have that X factor… if it was me… asking me to stand infront of the stage of few hundred people… my testicle will be at my mouth… have to respect him for that… can see him become the future malay star… jay the chinese one… LOL…

Mind is blank now… dunno what to type… my ITE life is finishing soon… ending at around march… thinking back to the past 2 year here… this school change me alot…

Become more mean

Become more CB kia

Become more vain

Start to come late everytime i meet someone

Never sleep at night

understand 70% of malay lang

stop looking at random girl then go back and PCC

use wordpress

love Arsenal (with heart for AC milan still =D)

finally stop condem India

see the ugly side of Chinese

hate chinese music more

Care about branded and non branded

Fall in love with Dewar

Everyplace that you go… you will surely leave a mark on someone life there…

my ISF classmate leave a mark in my life that i will never forget…

but did i leave a mark on their life?

i wonder………….

been busy for the past few week… sort of… so never really blog…

today i want to talk about the power of taking a extra step…

me and dewar are a lovely couple…

theres lots of love and of course theres fight… but overall we are very very lovely… we love each other and care for each other alot…

thus we start to be content with what we have… we start to think in a way that as long we love each other thing way can le… just “maintain”…

But dunno why i just got a urgh in my heart… maybe is God telling me to… to take a extra step more…

so i did…

Treating you with more love squeezing all the love juice i have

giving you more attention that you need

sending you home even if i.m really quite tired

give you more hug

call you more to not let you worry

never take away the “love” this word in our conversation

etc that i dunno how to say it out…

is it tired?

Yes sometime it really tired… sick or no mood still have to treat you extra well

Is it worth it…

Hell yes it is…….

Taking one more step… just to see you a more happy dewar… it sure make what i did all worth it… and of course in return you also treat me better… so it a win win…

toward my family i.m the same…. rarely i talk to my mom dad and sister… they are just like my landlord and i.m their tenant..

“i go out already”

“i come back already”

“orh”

“bye”

hardly said anything that have at least 10 word… even at chinese new year eve dinner we also never talk just eat…

we dun hate each other… just dunno why cannot talk to each other… dad try… but i always will avoid and i dunno why… it just like a thing in my mind once my father talk it trigger and i will just walk away… sorry dad =\

I do not want this year to be like this anymore…

i step up my first step… walk out of my room and leave my 2nd wife (my com) alone and sit with time during the show little noya (LOL i like to say it this way so i spell it this way)

i hate that show… lame to the core and saddist to the core… stubborn yue niang feel like slapping her face ask her to fucking be with the chen xi… and kana rape 2 time? how sad can it get…

but still i sit down… and i start to talk to my parent about the show…

THEY WERE FUCKING SHOCK

21 year… in their eye i am a super never talk guy in the house (this explain why i talk alot outside)

i actually gossiping about this stupid little noya infront of them…

i can clearly see the shocking face of both of them… stun for few sec… and smile and chit chat with me…

that smile… is all i want from them… for years…

i start to do more… stay home for dinner

eat all the thing she cook

drink the milk that she will buy for me (for your info,in the past i am the most CB KIA, my mother always buy milk for me and i never drink then it expire and she throw away)

eat the cookie she buy (same as above)

all this thing i do… i am pai sei is someway… but…

all i want is a normal chinese new year eve dinner… that everyone will hee hee ha ha at the table… talk about everything a parent and sister will talk to the brother… just make me love this house again…

is it worth it… for those extra step… yes it did for me…

Have you ever have thing that you just put it on hold thought that “ah la like this can liao no need more, better than nothing”

like

Liking someone so much… but yet just content to be as friend…

relationship with parent is just “money come money go”

brother or sister who suppose to be closest to you yet dun really know about the real you…

friend that you are so close with in class but yet unsure of both of your future once school end…

everythhing in your life that you know deep down it can be better…

2009…

just go take that extra step… dun matter you like it anot… shy anot… scare throw face anot… tired anot… will worry waste time anot…

just do it… cause i really can feel it…

the extra step you do will never be forgetten…

your effort will surely come back to you…

by then all will be worth it…

SO GO AND FUCK AND LOVE SOMEONE YOU ALWAYS WANT TO MORE!!!!! =D

today first day at school damn miss everyone… say hi to everyone later than me… so those early… too bad~

Ashok actually read my blog! so it now add up to 4 people who actually look at my blog…

Jay,jay brother,Dewar and ashok!

wooo going to be 1 million viewer soon weeeee!!!!

LOL i think too much…